i can’t wait for the day when i can look at you and feel absolutely nothing.
when you love someone more than they deserve you end up hurting more than you deserve
no love lost.. no love found..
to break up with someone you were never really with is one of the saddest things you can ever do.. the complexity of an unofficial relationship is baffling and the craziest part about it is that you don’t even realize any of this until is too late and soon you realize it’s over.. I lost a lover.. a best friend.. a companion.. a playmate.. someone that made me laugh and smile.. someone that made me feel so special yet so sad all at the same time.. I said I wouldn’t do it but I did.. I fell in love with him.. I told myself I wouldn’t catch feelings for him because there could never be an us or a we.. BUT the funny thing about feelings is that they have a mind of their own and they’re uncontrollable.. I tried my best to fight it.. I did what I could to stop it.. but there was nothing I could do and before I knew what had happened I was in a relationship with someone I wasn’t even with and as crazy as it sounds that’s how it was.. and the more we spent time together.. the more the feelings grew.. I wanted to get out but it was too late.. my heart was all in and even though at times it didn’t feel right I settled.. and I settled for a long time.. and now as I sit here I realize that I am hurt and crying over something that never was and something I knew never could be.
Dear Blog,
Oh I am very sorry I have been neglecting you but, times have been hard.. not to worry though I’m back.
i can’t just say FUCK IT.
I’m in to deep.. my emotions are running wild and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.. I want to change so badly but I just don’t know where to begin.. I care too much and I can’t let go of anything or anyone and even though I am continuously hurt I am stuck in a cycle that seems impossible to break but I can’t blame anyone for the situations I always end up in.. I can’t say I was blind I’ve seen this before..
